Schneidersounds

iansanity:

In no particular order… chosen by me.

1–

Tobias: I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to dress up as something more nautically themed. Hot sailors maybe. Or better yet, hot sea-
Michael: I like hot sailors.
Tobias: Mmmm, me too.

2–

Oh, come on. Don’t leave your uncle T-bag hanging.

3–

Tobias: Okay, who’d like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right. I forgot. Here in the States, you call it a sausage in the mouth.

4–

Patient: There’s like this longing .. this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of…?
Patient: There’s like this longing .. this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of…?
Young Maeby: Homosexual.
Tobias: Maeby, please. She’s right, though, you probably are a homosexual.

5–

You’re forgetting, Lindsay, that as a psychiatrist, I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first “analrapist”.

My favorite: “I’ll be your wingman. Even if it means I have to take a chubby. I will suck it up.”